Beyond the Barbeque

Soldier, rest, thy warfare o'er,
Dream of fighting fields no more.
Sleep the sleep that knows not breaking,
Morn of toil, nor night of waking.
Sir Walter Scott

Memorial Day began as a memorial for Civil War veterans. It's long since grown to be a day to pay homage to all who have passed on to the next level. As you place your flowers and indulge in backyard get-togethers, remember the ones who have fallen for our freedom & pray for the safe return of all those who still fight.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALL WHO KEEP IT FREE

What's In A Word?

We seem to all be in agreement that anybody living in America should be speaking English. Sometimes, though, they just have better words than we do ...

1. Tingo: A Pascuense language word from Easter Island that means borrowing items from a pal's house, one by one, until there is nothing left.
2. Kummerspeck: A German word that literally means "grief bacon" but refers to the excess weight gained from emotion-related overeating.
3. Bakku-shan: Japanese for a woman who "seems pretty when seen from behind but not from the front."
4. Ulykkesbilen: Danish for an "ill-fated car."
5. Putzfimmel: German word that means a mania for cleaning.
6. Nakkele: From Tulu, India, this describes a man who licks whatever the food has been served on.K
7. atahara itai: Japanese for laughing so hard that one side of your stomach hurts.
8. Drachenfutter: A German word that is "dragon fodder" when translated literally, but means the peace offerings made by guilty husbands to their wives.
9. Plimpplampplettere: Dutch for skimming stones.
10. Backpfeifengesicht: German for a face that cries out for a fist in it.

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

No, it's not what I planned on posting, but I heard it on the radio on the way home today & figured if it was gonna be stuck in my head, it just as well be stuck in yours, too .... BAHAHAHA

PRAISE THE LORD & PASS THE OATS

The winners have been congratulated; the losers have accepted their fate.

The hecklers carry on because ... really, why not?

IF THERE'S A "VOTE FOR ME!" SIGN ANYWHERE IN THIS COUNTY WITH YOUR NAME ON IT, TAKE IT DOWN. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO PUT IT UP OR WHETHER YOU WON OR LOST. IT'S NOW TRASH ALONG THE ROAD WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.

YOU NEED TO GET IT GONE.

ELECTION DAY

Did you vote? Who'd you see? What'd you hear? Who's out & about? Who's going to have the longest day? Who thinks it's in the bag?

By this time tomorrow, it's all over but the cryin' ....

Creative Ways To Relieve Boredom

1) Call a random number & chat with the person who answers as though you're their long lost best friend. Pretend to be deeply hurt when they don't remember you.

2) Forward all your junk email to the White House.

3) Write letters to actors who play doctors on TV, asking them what they recommend for oozing sores that just won't heal.

4) Sit on a public bench & periodically shout, "IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" Then act all innocent when anybody looks your way.

5) End every sentence with your own name.