Warning: This site is chock full of rumors, innuendo, personal opinions & downright lies. Prolonged visits here could be detrimental to your health. If this happens, you're taking life way too seriously. There is a language barrier on this site - comments containing language that cannot be used on prime time network television will be removed. Try to play nice and act like you've got some sense (even if you have to fake it).
Today's the Winter Solstice, the beginning of winter. Temperatures are supposed to be in the 50s.
I don't know which makes me feel more like my Grandpa - the fact that I'm talking about the weather or the fact that my joints so appreciate the warmer weather. teeheehee
Winter would be an ok season if I was in some tropical location, but it rains there also and I hate rain. Snow I can take for awhile until it makes mud but mud I can never handle. Winter has been here for a day Bring Back the Sunshine.
Hello Rosie, Don't think I am do gooder but your words on "some people just want a coat and some a good meal" made me really stop and be thankful for everything I have. I sat my family down even the grandkids and had a discussion, we decided we would take most of the money we would have spent on each other (for things we didn't even need) and buy for some that really needed it. We actually helped out 3 families. That dosen't really sound like alot but at least the kids will have things they need and a few toys they don't have and they all will have a Christmas Dinner. (we didn't give money we went and bought what they get) One man insisted on money so we marked him off the list but his children got what they needed. It may just be a drop in the bucket but at least we feel good about giving and not expecting anything in return. TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS BLOG MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.
A Redneck Christmas - Christmas Poem Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the shack Not a creature was stirrin', cept the lice on muh back. The Skoal cans wuz nailed to the screen door with care, With hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The children were sleepin', all snug in their beds, While visions of� tractor pulls danced in their heads. And Ma in her nightgown all stained with pound cake. Had just settled down to watch Ricki Lake.
When out in the driveway, a loud noise I heard, I opened the winder to check muh T-bird. I ran to the door, like I's on a mission, But I tripped on some parts from muh granny's transmission.
The moon shone outside, the hound dog wuz barkin'. Muh daughter weren't� home yet, she wuz still out parkin'.
When what to muh whiskey blind eyes should I see But a Chevy S-10, pulled by eight flyin' sheep. With a fat nasty driver, so disgustin' and sick I said, "Shoot Fire! That must be St. Nick!
More rapid than X-lax his wooly sheep came And he belched and he hollered, and he called 'em by name.
Now CLIFFORD! Now VERNON! Now LESTER and ENUS! On FESTUS!� On ELMER!� On ROSCOE and CLETUS!
From the top of the shack to them there garbage bins Now Dash Away! Dash Away! Dash Away youins!
I heard a loud sound on the roof of muh shack. Pud down muh beer and went fer muh gun rack. He fell through the roof, plum killed my dog, I swear that ole' Santa looked just like Boss Hog.
He wore a T-shirt, rebel flag on the front, And his jeans were all bloody from that morning's hunt. A big nekkid lady tattooed on his arm, And he wore black boots that he'd picked up in 'Nam.
His eyes, how they glazed from too much Wild Turkey. From the side of his mouth hung a stick of beef jerky. A scar on his cheek from a fight with the cops. The veins on his face looked ready to pop.
The butt of a Marlboro clung to his lip He wore a hip pack full of B-B-Q chips. He had a fat face and a hairy beer belly. I ain't seen one that big since muh ex-wife Shelly.
He was gap-toothed and dumb with an I.Q. of three And I laughed cause that redneck was smarter than me. A wink of his eye, a fierce shake of his head, From his hair came a rat that ran under the bed.
He reached in his sack, sipped his gin and tonic, Then filled the kid's stockings with Hooked on Phonics. His toys came from Big Lots and they weren't very nice But he had lots of them and yuh can't beat the price.
He gave us a tape of them hound dogs that sing Jingle Bells. Some Crisco, some Spam, some Oatmeal Cream pies, And a Nascar T-shirt in Double X size.
When the presents were gone and he had no more, He staggered and stumbled right through muh screen door.
He hopped in his truck, to his sheep gave an order "Hurry up youins! To the Tennessee border!" And I heard him cry out, with a strong southern drawl, "MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU REDNECKS! MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL... YEE HAWWWW!
"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual ap plication of good tidings for a period of one ye! ar or un til the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."
>>> How the "Left" Stole Christmas >>> >>> 'Twas the month before Christmas >>> When all through our land, >>> Not a Christian was praying >>> Nor taking a stand. >>> >>> See the PC Police had taken away, >>> The reason for Christmas..why no one could say. >>> The children were told by their schools not to sing >>> Of Christ, shepherds, Wise Men, angels, or such things. >>> >>> It might hurt people's feelings, teachers were asked to say, >>> "December 25th is just another 'holiday'." >>> Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit >>> Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it! >>> >>> CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod >>> Something was changing, something quite odd! >>> Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa >>> In hopes to sell books by Franken &Fonda. >>> >>> As Targets were hanging their trees upside down >>> At Lowe's the word Christmas was no where to be found. >>> At K-Mart and Staples and Penney's and Sears, >>> You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears. >>> >>> "Inclusive, sensitive, di-ver-si-ty" >>> Are words that were used to intimidate me. >>> Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen >>> On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton! >>> >>> At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter >>> To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter. >>> And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith >>> Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace >>> . >>> The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded >>> The reason for the season, stopped before it started. >>> >>> So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree," >>> Sipping your Starbucks, please listen to me. >>> Choose your words carefully, choose what you say: >>> Do shout "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" not "Happy Holiday!" >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >> > >
THE FAT MAN FLIES TONIGHT!! & I don't think he cares that I call him fat. After all, that's what he is.
This year, we're celebrating "internationally." Wassail was originally a German thing. Nothing beats a nice Irish coffee after dinner. Eggnog's universal ... {hiccup ... 'scuse me ...}
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!
May we all wake up with blessings in our homes & peace in our hearts.
& maybe even a little Wassail left over in the fridge for tomorrow ... teeheehee
Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care, In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.
While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps. When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash, Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash. The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear: A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer! That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.
The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer, I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear; On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.
>From the top of the scales to the top of the hall Now dash away pounds; now dash away all. Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.
My droll little mouth and my round little belly They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly. I spoke not a word but went straight to my work Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.
And laying a finger beside my heartburn Gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned. I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.
And I mumbled again as I turned for the night "In the morning I'll starve... 'til I take that first bite!"
Twas the day after Christmas and all we read here.is how Jimmy and George has caused all the hate and fear.
No thought about Rockefeller Byrd, Rahall and Hilary all voted to save face and to War they went in a desert place. Of course weeks later with pen in hand Byrd stood shaking telling all "its a bad plan." We had soldiers there take away their money and armor was the Byrd and Hilary Plan.
All were given Intelligence to read all about and after being hostage for 21 years it was about time the US came out. It all started in a place called Iran when they took our citizens and to kill was the plan.
We stood by blindly and the whole world could see that our fine Congress was blind,as blind as could be. Not thinking about anything but their pockets did fill with liftime pensions and gave us the Medicare Bill.
Now as for ole Jimmy he proved true blue when he told Clayberry's citizens. Let me see what I can do. He stood firm on his ground and the $25 fee would come right on down. He eliminated something that we all had to pay taking away our choice R.T and Jerry did that day.
AW it was not the TV but Mom's rocking chair and I stood up and told them I dare you come there. Some of our elderly paid out of fear but I still don't pay for it and its been 16 years. If I pay the fiddler then I want to dance but for something not used don't stick your hand in my pants.
All over the county its plastered and untrue that Jimmys sign went up just for the ACLU. Now theres a split I haven't seen as six in the county stood up just to scream. Take them back down we don't need them there they represent Christians who live in despare. The very rock this country was founded has been shaken but standing right up that ole mountain.
Without care for his being off Jimmy flew to help with the water when pipes were unglued. He stood in the mud with shovel in hand and said "We'll git it back on I will be the last man." Good versus evil has been all along and good will out weigh evil all the year long.
I have wriiten to long so I must quit so what AW needs is a good case of the S**TS
>>Two kinds of folks. People getting older and people at the cemetery. >>Count your blessings that you're still on the right side of the >>grass....................You can still change things
23 comments:
Today's the Winter Solstice, the beginning of winter. Temperatures are supposed to be in the 50s.
I don't know which makes me feel more like my Grandpa - the fact that I'm talking about the weather or the fact that my joints so appreciate the warmer weather. teeheehee
BRING ON THE SNOW!
ROCKY VI OPENS TODAY!
AAAAAAAA-DREEEEEEEE-UN!!
WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!!!
Yeah, he's 60, but you can bet your sweet bippy I'll be seeing the final chapter of RAMBO next summer, too.
Did you know Sylvester Stallone gave his daughters the middle name of "Rose" ? Yeah, he loves me. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL
Merry Winter------Happy Spring
Winter would be an ok season if I was in some tropical location, but it rains there also and I hate rain. Snow I can take for awhile until it makes mud but mud I can never handle. Winter has been here for a day Bring Back the Sunshine.
I totally agree on bringing back the Sunshine!!
And all I want for Christmas is my old man sleep in the other room, cause Santa's a comin to town!
Cindy Mae but Santa only comes once a year...
she knows that and she's getting ready. Santa is doing better than I am.
OMG, Santa's a dirty old man??
I've been called worse! Orta hear what Mrs. Clause calls me, some time!!
Boy am I glad to be one of Santa's little helpers. Makes life worth living sometimes with the benefit package.
Lemme tell y'all a lil' sump'in
bout the fat man you call Santer.
don't let him round your kids fer sure
that pervert, he's a panter.
I wuz a Santa's helper once.
welfare got me the job.
wuz either that or the health department
- I ain't workin' with them ol' snobs.
so I went to work for the fat man
the one y'all think's so jolly.
he gives a whole new meaning
to deckin' the halls with Holly.
his wife, that "sweet lil' lady,"
she's hooked on pills & booze.
wants you to think she's Betty Crocker,
more like Huzzy Flooze.
the reindeer ain't much better,
just working once a year.
the rest of the time, they're layin' around,
gettin' sloshed on salted beer.
you leave out milk & ol' stale cookies
'cause ya know that he ain't picky.
that's because he don't want yer snacks,
he's wantin' a little quickie.
there's a reason he's so happy
& it ain't all just for show.
around the world in one short night,
callin' out "HO! HO! HO!!"
he's probably done 'bout 1/2 the world
among them, I bet, your wife.
leaving behind a Merry Christmas to all
& to all, a very good night ..........
Hello Rosie,
Don't think I am do gooder but your words on "some people just want a coat and some a good meal" made me really stop and be thankful for everything I have. I sat my family down even the grandkids and had a discussion, we decided we would take most of the money we would have spent on each other (for things we didn't even need) and buy for some that really needed it. We actually helped out 3 families. That dosen't really sound like alot but at least the kids will have things they need and a few toys they don't have and they all will have a Christmas Dinner. (we didn't give money we went and bought what they get) One man insisted on money so we marked him off the list but his children got what they needed. It may just be a drop in the bucket but at least we feel good about giving and not expecting anything in return. TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS BLOG MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.
A Redneck Christmas - Christmas Poem
Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the shack
Not a creature was stirrin', cept the lice on muh back.
The Skoal cans wuz nailed to the screen door with care,
With hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The children were sleepin', all snug in their beds,
While visions of� tractor pulls danced in their heads.
And Ma in her nightgown all stained with pound cake.
Had just settled down to watch Ricki Lake.
When out in the driveway, a loud noise I heard,
I opened the winder to check muh T-bird.
I ran to the door, like I's on a mission,
But I tripped on some parts from muh granny's transmission.
The moon shone outside, the hound dog wuz barkin'.
Muh daughter weren't� home yet, she wuz still out parkin'.
When what to muh whiskey blind eyes should I see
But a Chevy S-10, pulled by eight flyin' sheep.
With a fat nasty driver, so disgustin' and sick
I said, "Shoot Fire! That must be St. Nick!
More rapid than X-lax his wooly sheep came
And he belched and he hollered, and he called 'em by name.
Now CLIFFORD! Now VERNON! Now LESTER and ENUS!
On FESTUS!� On ELMER!� On ROSCOE and CLETUS!
From the top of the shack to them there garbage bins
Now Dash Away! Dash Away! Dash Away youins!
I heard a loud sound on the roof of muh shack.
Pud down muh beer and went fer muh gun rack.
He fell through the roof, plum killed my dog,
I swear that ole' Santa looked just like Boss Hog.
He wore a T-shirt, rebel flag on the front,
And his jeans were all bloody from that morning's hunt.
A big nekkid lady tattooed on his arm,
And he wore black boots that he'd picked up in 'Nam.
His eyes, how they glazed from too much Wild Turkey.
From the side of his mouth hung a stick of beef jerky.
A scar on his cheek from a fight with the cops.
The veins on his face looked ready to pop.
The butt of a Marlboro clung to his lip
He wore a hip pack full of B-B-Q chips.
He had a fat face and a hairy beer belly.
I ain't seen one that big since muh ex-wife Shelly.
He was gap-toothed and dumb with an I.Q. of three
And I laughed cause that redneck was smarter than me.
A wink of his eye, a fierce shake of his head,
From his hair came a rat that ran under the bed.
He reached in his sack, sipped his gin and tonic,
Then filled the kid's stockings with Hooked on Phonics.
His toys came from Big Lots and they weren't very nice
But he had lots of them and yuh can't beat the price.
He gave us a tape of them hound dogs that sing Jingle Bells.
Some Crisco, some Spam, some Oatmeal Cream pies,
And a Nascar T-shirt in Double X size.
When the presents were gone and he had no more,
He staggered and stumbled right through muh screen door.
He hopped in his truck, to his sheep gave an order
"Hurry up youins! To the Tennessee border!"
And I heard him cry out, with a strong southern drawl,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU REDNECKS! MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL... YEE HAWWWW!
For My Democrat Friends:
"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual ap plication of good tidings for a period of one ye! ar or un til the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."
For My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Merry Christmas, everyone. Hope you all have a great one, filled with the most important gifts-love and laughter.
>>> How the "Left" Stole Christmas
>>>
>>> 'Twas the month before Christmas
>>> When all through our land,
>>> Not a Christian was praying
>>> Nor taking a stand.
>>>
>>> See the PC Police had taken away,
>>> The reason for Christmas..why no one could say.
>>> The children were told by their schools not to sing
>>> Of Christ, shepherds, Wise Men, angels, or such things.
>>>
>>> It might hurt people's feelings, teachers were asked to say,
>>> "December 25th is just another 'holiday'."
>>> Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
>>> Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
>>>
>>> CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
>>> Something was changing, something quite odd!
>>> Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
>>> In hopes to sell books by Franken &Fonda.
>>>
>>> As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
>>> At Lowe's the word Christmas was no where to be found.
>>> At K-Mart and Staples and Penney's and Sears,
>>> You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.
>>>
>>> "Inclusive, sensitive, di-ver-si-ty"
>>> Are words that were used to intimidate me.
>>> Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
>>> On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!
>>>
>>> At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
>>> To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
>>> And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
>>> Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace
>>> .
>>> The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
>>> The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
>>>
>>> So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree,"
>>> Sipping your Starbucks, please listen to me.
>>> Choose your words carefully, choose what you say:
>>> Do shout "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" not "Happy Holiday!"
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>
>
Um. Uh. Hmm.
THE FAT MAN FLIES TONIGHT!! & I don't think he cares that I call him fat. After all, that's what he is.
This year, we're celebrating "internationally." Wassail was originally a German thing. Nothing beats a nice Irish coffee after dinner. Eggnog's universal ... {hiccup ... 'scuse me ...}
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!
May we all wake up with blessings in our homes & peace in our hearts.
& maybe even a little Wassail left over in the fridge for tomorrow ... teeheehee
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
Aww...thank you very much, SB!! :) Merry Southern Christmas to you!!
Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care,
In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.
While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps
Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash,
Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear:
A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick
I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.
The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer,
I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;
On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS
A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.
>From the top of the scales to the top of the hall
Now dash away pounds; now dash away all.
Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress
My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.
My droll little mouth and my round little belly
They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
I spoke not a word but went straight to my work
Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.
And laying a finger beside my heartburn
Gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.
I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry
If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.
And I mumbled again as I turned for the night
"In the morning I'll starve...
'til I take that first bite!"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Thank you, Rose! That poem is awesome, by the way. (I just saved it, too. LOL) Hope you and your family had a wonderful Christmas.
The AW Site Report::
Twas the day after Christmas
and all we read here.is how Jimmy and George has caused all the hate and fear.
No thought about Rockefeller
Byrd, Rahall and Hilary
all voted to save face
and to War they went in a desert place.
Of course weeks later with pen in
hand Byrd stood shaking telling
all "its a bad plan." We had soldiers there take away their money and armor was the Byrd and Hilary Plan.
All were given Intelligence to
read all about and after being
hostage for 21 years it was about time the US came out.
It all started in a place called Iran when they took our citizens
and to kill was the plan.
We stood by blindly and the whole
world could see that our fine Congress was blind,as blind as could be. Not thinking about anything but their pockets did fill with liftime pensions and gave us the Medicare Bill.
Now as for ole Jimmy he proved true blue when he told Clayberry's citizens. Let me see what I can do. He stood firm on his ground and the $25 fee would come right on down. He eliminated something that we all had to pay taking away our choice R.T and Jerry did that day.
AW it was not the TV but Mom's rocking chair and I stood up and told them I dare you come there. Some of our elderly paid out of fear but I still don't pay for it and its been 16 years. If I pay the fiddler then I want to dance but for something not used don't stick your hand in my pants.
All over the county its plastered and untrue that Jimmys sign went up just for the ACLU. Now theres a split I haven't seen as six in the county stood up just to scream. Take them back down we don't need them there they represent Christians who live in despare. The very rock this country was founded has been shaken but standing right up that ole mountain.
Without care for his being off Jimmy flew to help with the water when pipes were unglued. He stood in the mud with shovel in hand and said "We'll git it back on I will be the last man." Good versus evil has been all along and good will out weigh evil all the year long.
I have wriiten to long so I must quit so what AW needs is a good case of the S**TS
>>Two kinds of folks. People getting older and people at the cemetery.
>>Count your blessings that you're still on the right side of the
>>grass....................You can still change things
Post a Comment